Teaching on the South Side: Finally!

It's the last day of school. I survived an entire year teaching on the South Side of Chicago. All I have to do is get through today and I have two and a half months of summer bliss laid out before me.

Apparently, the kids here always start rumors that huge fights will occur on the last day, or that they are going to "get" the facutly and staff (whatever that means). This is probably why all CPS expects out of students today is that they show up, get their report cards, and leave.

The sooner that happens, the sooner I can go camping.

Teaching on the South Side: When Can I Leave?

As you might expect, the students who might actually have raised hell on this last day of the school year never showed up. In fact, only about ten of my students did. I guess final grades aren't that important around here.

The halls are empty. All of my paperwork has been turned in. I only have one more question: when can I leave and start my summer vacation?

Life in the Windy City: Objects in Motion . . .

The walking/biking/rollerblading path that parallels Lake Shore Drive for roughly twenty miles along the Lake Michigan shoreline links all of Chicago’s major eastern parks, like Lincoln Park, Jackson Park, and Hyde Park, as well as other notable places like North Avenue Beach and the Museum Campus, home of The Field Museum, the Adler Planetarium, and Shedd Aquarium. It’s a place to exercise, to sight-see, to spend a lazy afternoon walking hand-in-hand with a loved one. It can also provide optimal conditions for testing Newton’s First Law of Motion: Objects in motion tend to say in motion . . . It is because of the wonders of physics that I now need a new cell phone.

I need a replacement for my trusty Treo 600 because I took a dive off my bike after trying to make a sharp left turn while going about 19 miles an hour down by Shedd Aquarium tonight. I had a choice of paths, and I chose poorly in my haste. My front wheel locked up, I went flying (that first law is right, apparently), did a forward roll (years of karate training do occasionally come in handy) and stood up unscathed. My cell phone, however, was in the waist pack at the small of my back, which made momentary contact with the ground as I rolled. It was enough to crack the screen of my $400 Treo. I knew paying the $5 a month for the phone insurance would come in handy some day. By Friday, I’ll have a brand new Treo.

And, as luck would have it, I had an audience for all of this. Two women and an entourage of about half a dozen small children were relaxing on the lawn by the aquarium right where I took my spill. The first thing one woman said: “Are you OK!?!?” The next thing she said: “My son said that’s the coolest thing he’s ever seen.”

That’s me: Hollywood Stunt Man, entertaining the masses with feats of derring-do. Heck, it’s gotta be easier than teaching.

(And, for all of the mothers reading this: yes, I was wearing my helmet.)